What role has your family played in your personal vocation?

My family has given me the gift of the living word. They have modeled the influence of the Holy Spirit in their creativity and force of love. I have realized that the loving disposition of my family members toward me and others has been nothing less than the Holy Spirit itself, than God in flesh and action in the most deep, powerful ways.

I feel motivated to act in the advance of peace and love. I define my personal vocation in this fashion. I am in complete spiritual consolation when I allow the Holy Spirit to move in and through me and when I accept the presence of God every day.

My whole family lives and breathes the Holy Spirit in different ways which have influenced and shaped me in ways I may not even be able to articulate. I may not even necessarily be able to feel these influences, but I know they are there and they are a part of me.

My grandparents and ancestors before them have all left their evolutionary imprint on my consciousness in ways that have shaped me into the person I am today. My grandparents were immigrants and their willingness to strike out and take risks embodied a faith that I enjoy today. My mother was a woman of unshakable faith and strength who was pragmatic in her approach to life and family. She went to work for the first time outside the home at the age of 45 to earn salary and health benefits as a cafeteria aide. She worked and sacrificed in a professional position which did not match her intellectual capability, but she served out of necessity and love for her family.

My father was a small, independent grocer who enjoyed success in business only to see his fortunes change and devolve into insolubility as a combination of changing income levels and a shift in living patterns prompted him to sell his business at a loss. His faith was strong as he endured the travails of a failing business, and he was, at times, riddled with self-doubt. Teh strength of his family sustained him, and his personal interests in stamp collecting and swimming helped give him purpose.

One of the reasons my father held on in business as long as he did was that he had a strong sense of social justice. He believed that for the last 10 or so years he worked on John-R that he was doing missionary work at times, as the level of poverty and the disintegration of families increased. He was born to help others, and his life was committed to making the world a better place. He always "rooted for the underdog" and valued the presence of God in all people.

My father has helped to instill a strong sense of justice and fairness in me through his words and actions. He enabled me to see that the world is an inherently unfair place and that injustice exists. Furthermore, in order for me to serve the will and glory of God, I must dedicate my entire life to helping create a grater reality of justice and peace, one person at a time. "Let peace begin with me," of course, is an important notion, as I must truly live the peace and love of God myself first before I can effectively bring it to others.

As combinations of my parents in a new generation, my siblings have all influenced my personal vocation in a myriad of ways. My brother John's magnanimity has always impressed me as an embodiment of his love and kindness which reminds me to conduct myself in the same way. My brother Tom's adventurous spirit infused in me a love of all things new and a willingness to forge new paths in unlikely places. My sister Denise's dedication to service of children with special needs is a constant reminder that Jesus uplifts the "least" among us and they are the most favored in the kingdom of God. My sister Marcia's overwhelming, genuine love of God has always been a challenge to em to discover God in my way, and to deepen my relationship with God. My sister Andrea's love and warmth towards others displayed for me the power of nurturing effective interpersonal relationships. My sister Suzanne's quiet, understated presence teaches me to walk softly and to speak quietly an avoid calling unnecessary attention to myself.

The Call of Jesus Pt.1

What does my personal history reveal to me of the particular ways in which I have been called by God?

When I think of my personal history I begin with my place in my family. I was born the youngest of seven children to a 46 year-old mother and a 51 year-old father, relatively old in 1968. I was not at all a planned or expected child, and there are nine years between the 6th child and me.

As I get older and reflect on my own fatherhood, I appreciate more and more the great faith that my parents possessed as they moved through life in all their human roles and relationships. My family has always been a family of great faith, whether I always realized it or not.

I believe God has called me to this world, to this existence, in slightly unlikely circumstances. I have used my role in the family to relate well to older people. I have a level of empathy for people with disabilities and the disenfranchised. Part of my sensitivities and sensibilities come from who I am and part comes from what I've learned, I suppose, but what I now know is that everything has been ordained by God. God has enabled me to exist and I am blessed to be here.

After living with mental illness, I began to learn to embrace challenges as gifts instead of liabilities or irreparable hurts. After getting fired from a teaching job, I found something that suited me better. I have learned to manage my anxiety and I hope to eliminate it from my life all together.

These experiences have bolstered my sense of faith and the awareness that everything truly happens for a reason, however joyous or painful, which is meant to teach me, so that I in turn may help others and glorify God. I know that if I consciously live my life to guide others as I have been guided then I am fulfilling my destiny as a steward of God.

Baptism of Jesus

Jesus is baptized by John even though John has his doubts about his worthiness to baptize the one who is more powerful. May I have the courage to step up and face challenges that seem illogical or counter-intuitive as John did. When I accept and submit, as Mary did in accepting the words of the angel Gabriel that she would be the mother of Jesus, I play my rightful part and fulfill God's will for me. This requires faith and trust. I know that I am of God, I am from God. I know God is in charge, God is in control. Dear God, help me to submit to your will. Give me the courage and strength to rise up and eb strong even when I feel inadequate or inferior.

Arrogance of heart

I am reminded in Luke's gospel Ch. 1:51 of God routing the arrogant of heart. I initially read this to mean that God elevates the lowly and favors the poor, which is true. However, a second consideration has led me to see that I will be most happy when I release my "arrogance" which is my preoccupation with self. When I am drawn into my own wants and needs and focused only on that which I want, then I am at risk of "arrogance of heart."

When I take a step back from my wants and needs, when I breathe deep into my life and live in the here and now, in the moment of where I am in this instant, then I can lose the arrogance of heart and stay focused on what really matters: serving others.

This takes the shape of being present for my two sons. My son Zachary has a difficult time using appropriate language toward his brother and Mary Beth and me in the morning. When I am present for him, to him, and with him, I can handle his behaviors in helpful, loving, constructive ways. When I am distracted by my own needs, I can't. This is the arrogance of heart that I need to avoid, that is, the presumption that my needs go before my sons' needs. As a dad, I have committed to be present for my kids. It is what is right and necessary. I am reminded of this in my life and in the scripture.

The Visitation

I am reminded that God is not only here for all people, but especially the poor. This furhter reminds me that when I serve the poor in body and spirit, in material possessions and in heart, that I am truly serving God, i.e., "of God." It is easy for me to get caught up in the sin of competition, that is, that I must be the "best" at something in order to feel "good." The truth is, I must serve all people with a humble and compassionate heart, and not rest until everyone is enjoying a just and equitable life.

This is challenging work. Who decides what constitutes justice or "enoughness" for all peopl throughout the world? Is it "give us this day our daily bread?" Is it shelter? Education? What forms does it take? Is it simply responding to someone when they ask for help? Is it "giving without counting the cost?" To whom? These are lifelong/ageless questions that people grapple with every day all over the world.

I know that if I am directed to the poor in body and spirit (who classify or define themselves as such and ask for help) and use Mary's magnificat as a reminder that God is found most in the service of the poor, that I am closest to God and living the life that God intended me to live.

The Annunciation Lk 1: 26-38

The faith of Mary is astounding to me as sh receives the most profound news anyone could expect. Not only s she unmarried, but she is a virgin, yet she is told she is going to give birth to a divine child. I can't imagine the level of faith she demonstrates when she says, "Let it happen to em as you have said" (38).

May I have this level of faith. May I trust and withhold judgment when I am presented with new ideas. May I trust, really trust, that all will be well, even when it is painful, and even when it doesn't go the way I envisioned it. I have to lose my superiority complex by surrendering, as Mary did, to the will of God. May I be guided in this surrender.

forgiveness and hope

Upon rereading the parable of the prodigal son, I am struck by the father's ability to forgive his younger son. He holds absolutely no grudge about the fact that that the son squandered half his inheritance. He does not begrudge him this, he only loves him. Further, he celebrates him. May I choose the path of celebration instead of judgment! Too often I spend time concerned about the smallest of details in my two sons, and fretting about whether or not they are living up to my expectations (whatever those may be.)

The father in the story simply loves. He sees his son for who he is - a human being with all his gifts and flaws. The father understands the inherent dichotomy present in all of us: we are good and evil. We are beautiful and ugly. We are strong and weak. The father chooses to celebrate these qualities and value what matters most: his son's spiritual resurrection. His son lives! He would forgive him 1,000 times if that's what it would take to preserve the quality of their relationship. The father clearly has great vision and has his priorities well ordered. He chooses the path of love. May I do the same with my sons and all my other "sons."