Lord, Let me know you

Dear Lord,

I pray today that I may come to know you through your love.

Work in me.

Use me as your instrument of faith, hope, and love.

Allow me to live the love proclaimed by you and St. Paul.

Love is patient, love is kind, it is never boastful.

Love is patient.

Patience.

Grant me patience today, Lord.

Amen

Mk 28:1-8

"Filled with awe and great joy the women came quickly away from the tomb and ran to tell his disciples."

Dear Lord,

May I be filled with the awe of your resurrection. May my faith be bolstered. May my fear and anxiety be banished. May I know you and know your power and let your spirit fill me with faith, hope, and love.

May I know that you live in me and through me.

Please guide me today to be a person of your infinite love.

Holy Thursday

Dear Lord Jesus,

May I be with you tonight in your agony. May I love and support you in your hour of need. May I never abandon you.

May I always know you and realize the power you have in shaping my life. May I celebrate the love you offer me and live that love by uplifting everyone I meet as you uplift me.

May I always remember that all things are possible in you, and that your love is the greatest force in the universe. May I know and live that love today.

Amen

The Gift of Others - Mary Beth

Dear Mary Beth,

I thank you today for the gift of
You,
for 21 years of growth together as a couple
for the realization that our love
has been guided by God.

Thank you for loving me when
I have been challenging and difficult,
for giving of yourself
for my personal and professional benefit.
Thank you for loving me - body, mind and spirit,
for offering me your artistic genius
for enabling your gifts and talents to
infuse my creative core.

Thank you for the gift of your mom and dad
for Katie and Meg
and the entire Seefelt and Foydel clans
who have enriched my life immeasurably
both as individuals and as a collective whole.

Thank you for the gift of two beautiful boys
who are such a critical reason why
I am alive
who give such meaning to my life
who help me fully realize
who I am as a human being.
Thank you for your kindness and your grace,
for your smiles and laughter
for your tears and honesty.

I sincerely appreciate
the gift of having known you,
the realization that each moment
of each day brings
new enlightenment which
completes me and
remakes me.

God bless you today and always, Mary Beth
I love you!

Rick

The Gift of Others - Nick

Dear Nick,

Thank you for the gift of your smile
present from your first moment
on earth

Thank you for the gift of your imagination
your role-playing ability
the way you move in and
out of empathy

Thank you for your hugs and kisses
for your affection
and warmth

Thank you for your ongoing gratitude
for the way you
appreciate mom and me

Thank you for your sense of justice
for your desire to right
wrongs

Thank you for "men are men" wrestling
for spinning and tickling

You are a great blessing and I love you

Papi

The Gift of Zachary

Dear Zachary,

You have gifted me with your enthusiasm
your energy and your curiosity
Your passion and hunger
for knowledge.

You lead me into places in nature
you guided me to Upland Hills School

You inspire me with your music-making
and guitar wizardry

Your word-smithing and language skills
grow each day

Your command of Spanish was
evident from early-on

Your speed is strong and powerful
bolts of lightning

You command the soccer ball
and weave it, then drive it to the net

You are sensitive and loving
You pay attention to people who need help

I am so blessed to know you and be your dad

You teach me things about my self
that were there all along
but I could never see
until you elicited them in me
from me
and gave them
to me

God bless you today and always
I love you with all my heart and soul

Papi

Appearance part 2

Dear Lord,
Help me to have faith
to teach faith
to breathe faith
Help me to maintain peace in the face of hostility
Help me to breathe deeply
Help my breath and peace to radiate out
and wash over all those around me
Help me to deliver peace, hope, love
Balance
You
to all
today.

Amen

The Appearance on the Road to Emmaus

Dear Lord,

May I recognize you on the road
In the most unlikely of places
May I know you as the
Risen God,
The Savior
who is always there
loving, guiding, protecting me
Always.

Amen

The appearance to Mary

Dear Lord,

May I see you as you are, everywhere.
May I recognize your omnipresence
May I seek you out when it seems you aren't there
May I call you "Rabbuni" as Mary did
May I know that you are with me
May I see you in all things and in all people
May I know and love you today and always.

Amen

Dear Lord,

Help me to empathize with those who see our shared world differently
Help me to see our shared humanity
Help me to love all people, especially those with whom I differ in ways large and small
Help me to grow to a deeper awareness of peace through the practice of unity through diversity in all its forms: thought, word, deed, and appearance.

Amen

Jesus Appears to Mary Magdalene

Dear Lord Jesus,

May I believe without seeing so that I may be open to your appearances to me.
May I see you in all people.
May I see you in the wonders of your creation.
May I see you in my pain as well as my joy.
May I know you are always there.
Bless my faith, Lord, keep my faith, hope, and love strong and unyielding.
Give me the blessings of an eternal relationship with you.

Amen

The Agony in the Garden Mt 26:30-46

Dear Jesus,

I understand the limitations of being human. I know I am weak. Despite your presence in me and despite the faith, hope, and love I feel every day, there still are times when I am full of fear.

Help me to rid myself of fear and let your love grow stronger inside me.

Help me to forgive myself when I hurt myself and others through hurtful thoughts, words and actions. Help me to remember that I am human and that I am not perfect.

Help me, too, to know all sides of myself - strong and weak - and to grow the strong, faith-filled side.

Help me to drive the insecurity and impatience away, and replace it with the only true security - love of you and your creation.

Amen

The Washing of Feet Part 2

Jesus reminds us that we are all connected when he says, "Whoever welcomes the one I send welcomes me/and whoever welcomes me, welcomes the one who sent me."

When we welcome each other and we welcome everyone, we welcome Jesus. We need to always be on the lookout for the presence of Jesus among us, and the opportunity to warmly welcome people as we would want to be warmly welcomed.

Jesus is letting su know he's getting ready to die. He knows he will be betrayed, but he doesn't shy away, he faces his fate with faith. Sometimes we need to die to live. We need to experience pain to appreciate we are alive and to celebrate. We go through cycles throughout our lives of birth and death all the time. They are normal and real and part of living. When we learn to embrace all aspects of the birth/death cycle and to live with love and peace, then we know we are one with God.

Jesus faces his death with a calm, peaceful reserve. May I face all of my "deaths" accordingly.

The Washing of the Disciples

Lord, Give me the strength to be a servant leader. Give me the faith to serve you as you deserve, to be an agent of faith, hope, and love. Lord Jesus, help me to faith my fears and anxieties - even death- and know that I am doing your will. Help me to be calm and full of peace and love. Help me to spread this peace and love to all I meet through my words and deeds. Help em especially to spread peace and love, to be a presence of peace and love, to anyone who I perceive as hostile to me. May my loving and peaceful presence create an atmosphere of calm and a certitude of faith, that even in turmoil and upheaval calm prevails in my heart. Amen.

Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord

Jesus was not the expected messiah but one riding on the back of a donkey. The idea that God arrives in the most unlikely of people and shows up in the most unlikely of places is a reminder to me to be vigilant for God's presence. I should not expect God to make some grand entrance to the clanging of cymbals and banging of gongs. God is everywhere, yes, but especially present when I least expect God. When I truly see God in these unsuspecting places, I know I am paying attention.

God is especially present when I am under duress - stressed out because I'm hungry, tired, irritated, busy, ruffled, or pulled in several directions at once. God's presence at these times and these places is a reminder to speak and act with love. When I can direct my energy to others in a loving way, I know I am living the life God intended for me to live and being the way I ought to be. I am arriving and presenting myself to everyone I meet as Jesus arrived into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday.

Palm Sunday Mt 21:1-11

Dear Lord Jesus,

May I walk humbly as you walked and lead as a servant would. May I lose my pretenses and put forth the vision of love as you have modeled for me. Lord, my I serve from a point of deference and lead as one who is called by you to serve the humblest of the humble. May I always remember that you are found in all people I encounter, but especially in the powerless, in those who have lost hope, in the sick, in the ill, in the ones who seem to have been completely forgotten. Mat I always remember that that is where I will find you.

Dear Lord, may I praise you as you deserve, as God, as one who saves me from my own fears, anxieties, and self-righteousness. My actions be governed by the sole reason for being, to serve you in the greater honor and glory, to know that everything I do should reflect and uplift who you are and what you stand for, which is love.

Amen.

Week 7 Reflection Question #2

What have been some of my significant prayer experiences? How have they impacted me?

The use of the Principle and Foundation has been very grounding for me. I have continued to see God in all people and all things, especially in the pain, anxiety, and fear, that I create.

The notion of spiritual consolation and desolation has rung very true with me in terms of my history with bipolar disorder. I have been able to label and identify when my mind goes astray from the path of Godliness, and I more fully understand the presence of God and my own humanity. God is omnipresent and I need to merely remember to access God.

This lends itself to the 3rd question:

How has my image of.relationship with God changed/grown? In what ways?

I feel the presence of the Holy Spirit working in me and through me. i can also feel the Spirit in others. I can see/experience/feel what has always been there. I think this is the essence of discernment, a "knowing" of what has been there all along. My sister Marcia mentioned that she hopes that I experience the Holy Spirit in ways that will :blow my mind." I know that is happening in God's way and time.

Week 7 Reflection Question 1

What has been most fruitful for me so far in this prayer series? How so?

The daily discipline of prayer has been most fruitful for me so far. I have benefited from the daily reminders of how to live God's love. The scripture readings and messages, anchored by the Principles and Foundations have stayed with me throughout the day and enabled me to live my faith more fully as a child of God. I more readily see God in all people and all things, in all pleasure and all pain.

The opportunity to make God a part of my daily life has made my life more meaningful. I see meaning in everything, and am able to stop and notice, to pay attention, to be more present. There continues to be a great convergence of positive life force (God's love) in everything I do. I realize the power of God's omnipotence and omnipresence. This calms me and reminds me to have faith.

Call of Jesus Part 5

What part of the message of Jesus is challenging to you at this time in your life?

I am challenged to have faith in m y daily life that everything will be okay and occur according to God's will. I have to constantly remind myself that there is no need for anxiety and fear, but rather that all of my anxieties and fears are self-induced.

Yesterday at the end of the school day I yelled at a group of students for talking when I was talking. There were so many other actions I could have taken short of yelling. This reaction in me is a default reaction, meaning that it is the lowest kind of reaction I could have taken, and far less effective than if I had localized the issue and dealt with it in a more healthy, loving, professional way.

Furthermore, as a parent and teacher, I am aware that every time I yell I model that as a way for my students. I do not enjoy this approach, and no one makes me yell but me. It's not the kids' fault or responsibility, but mine alone. I own my own behavior.

I pledge to do better. To apologize for my transgression, for a violation of the principle of Kind Words, Kind Voice. At the heart of Kind Words, Kind Voice is faith. Faith that everything will always be all right and that there is no need for despair. Despair is marked my emotional upheaval. I seek to be like Jesus. To be calm. To be faith-filled. Just as with the "epileptic demoniac" where Jesus reminds us that all is possible with prayer and that "everything is possible for one who has faith," I pray that my faith be strong enough to guide me through all situations and all circumstances. I make no excuses and offer no justifications, regardless of lack of sleep, hunger, hurriedness, or any other condition. Faith conquers all, and Jesus serves as a powerful model.

Call of Jesus Part 4

In the key relationships in your life, how are you being asked to be more like the person of Jesus?

This question is relatively easy to answer but can be quite difficult to live out.

In my relationship with Mary Beth I am called to be loving. This means to offer myself in love as an agent of God's love, reserving judgment and seeking to serve our relationship in a healthy, constructive, well-balanced way. Much of this love requires presence, both physical and emotional, which can be challenging with a busy life. If I am tired, I don't always feel like giving of myself. I am not home, I can't offer the kind of support necessary to maintain a healthy family life. All in all, if I withhold judgment of Mary Beth and seek to give and support her as a partner and mother, I am living the person of Jesus.

With my sons, again, if I am present to them and for them, physically and emotionally I am being Jesus. If I listen to them and play with them on their terms - instead of always on mine - I am honoring and loving them in a healthy way. Also, if I am patient with them. Patience is sometimes difficult for me, especially with children, as they do not see the world the way I do. I have to remember to enjoy and relish in their childhood as they are closer to God, in many ways, than I am. It is my duty to preserve and protect their childhood.

In key relationships, how am I asked to be more like Jesus?

When I think of key relationships, I think about my relationships with Mary Beth, Zack and Nick. In those relationships I know I am called to love more. I know that love is what is articulated in Corinthians. Patience and kindness are the first two descriptors of what love is, and I need to constantly remind myself to live this way. It is so easy to judge those closest to me, and to do so with a callous heart.

An important component of love is the ability to empathize. When I am empathetic, I release my judgments and approach people from a point of unconditional love, the same kind of love I feel from God. When I love in this way I know IA am whole, I have released the anxiety and fear that holds me back from loving fully, and I am being the person that God in the form of Jesus intended me to be.

What are my God-given talents?

I have been blessed with the ability to communicate well through listening, speaking, reading, and writing. I enjoy these pursuits. I have used them to respond to God's call by being a teacher, someone who facilitates knowledge and understanding by creating communities of love where people come together to teach each other and learn from each other.

In this way, I hope to edify people who are infused with faith, hope, and love, who may, in turn, spread their own gifts to others in order to perpetuate the spread of faith, hope, and love so that we all might live in peace.

Jesus' rejection at Nazareth

I wonder about the meaning of this passage in Luke 4:16-30. Does Jesus mean to foretell his betrayal by his own people? What about the redeeming qualities of Christ in that he comes for all people?

What role has your family played in your personal vocation?

My family has given me the gift of the living word. They have modeled the influence of the Holy Spirit in their creativity and force of love. I have realized that the loving disposition of my family members toward me and others has been nothing less than the Holy Spirit itself, than God in flesh and action in the most deep, powerful ways.

I feel motivated to act in the advance of peace and love. I define my personal vocation in this fashion. I am in complete spiritual consolation when I allow the Holy Spirit to move in and through me and when I accept the presence of God every day.

My whole family lives and breathes the Holy Spirit in different ways which have influenced and shaped me in ways I may not even be able to articulate. I may not even necessarily be able to feel these influences, but I know they are there and they are a part of me.

My grandparents and ancestors before them have all left their evolutionary imprint on my consciousness in ways that have shaped me into the person I am today. My grandparents were immigrants and their willingness to strike out and take risks embodied a faith that I enjoy today. My mother was a woman of unshakable faith and strength who was pragmatic in her approach to life and family. She went to work for the first time outside the home at the age of 45 to earn salary and health benefits as a cafeteria aide. She worked and sacrificed in a professional position which did not match her intellectual capability, but she served out of necessity and love for her family.

My father was a small, independent grocer who enjoyed success in business only to see his fortunes change and devolve into insolubility as a combination of changing income levels and a shift in living patterns prompted him to sell his business at a loss. His faith was strong as he endured the travails of a failing business, and he was, at times, riddled with self-doubt. Teh strength of his family sustained him, and his personal interests in stamp collecting and swimming helped give him purpose.

One of the reasons my father held on in business as long as he did was that he had a strong sense of social justice. He believed that for the last 10 or so years he worked on John-R that he was doing missionary work at times, as the level of poverty and the disintegration of families increased. He was born to help others, and his life was committed to making the world a better place. He always "rooted for the underdog" and valued the presence of God in all people.

My father has helped to instill a strong sense of justice and fairness in me through his words and actions. He enabled me to see that the world is an inherently unfair place and that injustice exists. Furthermore, in order for me to serve the will and glory of God, I must dedicate my entire life to helping create a grater reality of justice and peace, one person at a time. "Let peace begin with me," of course, is an important notion, as I must truly live the peace and love of God myself first before I can effectively bring it to others.

As combinations of my parents in a new generation, my siblings have all influenced my personal vocation in a myriad of ways. My brother John's magnanimity has always impressed me as an embodiment of his love and kindness which reminds me to conduct myself in the same way. My brother Tom's adventurous spirit infused in me a love of all things new and a willingness to forge new paths in unlikely places. My sister Denise's dedication to service of children with special needs is a constant reminder that Jesus uplifts the "least" among us and they are the most favored in the kingdom of God. My sister Marcia's overwhelming, genuine love of God has always been a challenge to em to discover God in my way, and to deepen my relationship with God. My sister Andrea's love and warmth towards others displayed for me the power of nurturing effective interpersonal relationships. My sister Suzanne's quiet, understated presence teaches me to walk softly and to speak quietly an avoid calling unnecessary attention to myself.

The Call of Jesus Pt.1

What does my personal history reveal to me of the particular ways in which I have been called by God?

When I think of my personal history I begin with my place in my family. I was born the youngest of seven children to a 46 year-old mother and a 51 year-old father, relatively old in 1968. I was not at all a planned or expected child, and there are nine years between the 6th child and me.

As I get older and reflect on my own fatherhood, I appreciate more and more the great faith that my parents possessed as they moved through life in all their human roles and relationships. My family has always been a family of great faith, whether I always realized it or not.

I believe God has called me to this world, to this existence, in slightly unlikely circumstances. I have used my role in the family to relate well to older people. I have a level of empathy for people with disabilities and the disenfranchised. Part of my sensitivities and sensibilities come from who I am and part comes from what I've learned, I suppose, but what I now know is that everything has been ordained by God. God has enabled me to exist and I am blessed to be here.

After living with mental illness, I began to learn to embrace challenges as gifts instead of liabilities or irreparable hurts. After getting fired from a teaching job, I found something that suited me better. I have learned to manage my anxiety and I hope to eliminate it from my life all together.

These experiences have bolstered my sense of faith and the awareness that everything truly happens for a reason, however joyous or painful, which is meant to teach me, so that I in turn may help others and glorify God. I know that if I consciously live my life to guide others as I have been guided then I am fulfilling my destiny as a steward of God.

Baptism of Jesus

Jesus is baptized by John even though John has his doubts about his worthiness to baptize the one who is more powerful. May I have the courage to step up and face challenges that seem illogical or counter-intuitive as John did. When I accept and submit, as Mary did in accepting the words of the angel Gabriel that she would be the mother of Jesus, I play my rightful part and fulfill God's will for me. This requires faith and trust. I know that I am of God, I am from God. I know God is in charge, God is in control. Dear God, help me to submit to your will. Give me the courage and strength to rise up and eb strong even when I feel inadequate or inferior.

Arrogance of heart

I am reminded in Luke's gospel Ch. 1:51 of God routing the arrogant of heart. I initially read this to mean that God elevates the lowly and favors the poor, which is true. However, a second consideration has led me to see that I will be most happy when I release my "arrogance" which is my preoccupation with self. When I am drawn into my own wants and needs and focused only on that which I want, then I am at risk of "arrogance of heart."

When I take a step back from my wants and needs, when I breathe deep into my life and live in the here and now, in the moment of where I am in this instant, then I can lose the arrogance of heart and stay focused on what really matters: serving others.

This takes the shape of being present for my two sons. My son Zachary has a difficult time using appropriate language toward his brother and Mary Beth and me in the morning. When I am present for him, to him, and with him, I can handle his behaviors in helpful, loving, constructive ways. When I am distracted by my own needs, I can't. This is the arrogance of heart that I need to avoid, that is, the presumption that my needs go before my sons' needs. As a dad, I have committed to be present for my kids. It is what is right and necessary. I am reminded of this in my life and in the scripture.

The Visitation

I am reminded that God is not only here for all people, but especially the poor. This furhter reminds me that when I serve the poor in body and spirit, in material possessions and in heart, that I am truly serving God, i.e., "of God." It is easy for me to get caught up in the sin of competition, that is, that I must be the "best" at something in order to feel "good." The truth is, I must serve all people with a humble and compassionate heart, and not rest until everyone is enjoying a just and equitable life.

This is challenging work. Who decides what constitutes justice or "enoughness" for all peopl throughout the world? Is it "give us this day our daily bread?" Is it shelter? Education? What forms does it take? Is it simply responding to someone when they ask for help? Is it "giving without counting the cost?" To whom? These are lifelong/ageless questions that people grapple with every day all over the world.

I know that if I am directed to the poor in body and spirit (who classify or define themselves as such and ask for help) and use Mary's magnificat as a reminder that God is found most in the service of the poor, that I am closest to God and living the life that God intended me to live.

The Annunciation Lk 1: 26-38

The faith of Mary is astounding to me as sh receives the most profound news anyone could expect. Not only s she unmarried, but she is a virgin, yet she is told she is going to give birth to a divine child. I can't imagine the level of faith she demonstrates when she says, "Let it happen to em as you have said" (38).

May I have this level of faith. May I trust and withhold judgment when I am presented with new ideas. May I trust, really trust, that all will be well, even when it is painful, and even when it doesn't go the way I envisioned it. I have to lose my superiority complex by surrendering, as Mary did, to the will of God. May I be guided in this surrender.

forgiveness and hope

Upon rereading the parable of the prodigal son, I am struck by the father's ability to forgive his younger son. He holds absolutely no grudge about the fact that that the son squandered half his inheritance. He does not begrudge him this, he only loves him. Further, he celebrates him. May I choose the path of celebration instead of judgment! Too often I spend time concerned about the smallest of details in my two sons, and fretting about whether or not they are living up to my expectations (whatever those may be.)

The father in the story simply loves. He sees his son for who he is - a human being with all his gifts and flaws. The father understands the inherent dichotomy present in all of us: we are good and evil. We are beautiful and ugly. We are strong and weak. The father chooses to celebrate these qualities and value what matters most: his son's spiritual resurrection. His son lives! He would forgive him 1,000 times if that's what it would take to preserve the quality of their relationship. The father clearly has great vision and has his priorities well ordered. He chooses the path of love. May I do the same with my sons and all my other "sons."

Prodigal Son

The prodigal son speaks to me about equity. I understand the importance of celebrating that which ought to be celebrated. At the same time I am reminded of the importance of celebrating what I already have, of counting my blessings and enjoying them. I value all the people in my life and pray for their happiness.

There is enough for everyone. Something that I am realizing more and more every day is the awareness that there is enough. Abundance thinking, I call it. When I think from a point of abundance, then anything is possible. I know that I have enough stuff. Enough money. Enough food. Enough love. Enough recognition/attention (love.) Enough time to get everything done that needs to get done. Since there is enough, then the universe is simply and magically open to me. Anything is possible, and I am now able to fully enjoy my life as God intended, without fear. Pain is part of the process, but it's kept in its proper perspective. I can move through my day with peace. Knowing there is fundamentally, enough love in my life, means I am at peace. I am fully alive.

John 8: 1-11

Dear Jesus,

Help me to defer judgment to God and to love. Help em turn my own insecurities into faith and my own comparisons into acts of solidarity and empathy. Enable me to love people as you loved them - unconditionally and without reservation or fear.

Amen

Luke 12:22-34

"There is no need to be afraid, little flock, for it has pleased your Father to give you the kingdom."

"Sell your possessions and give to those in need."

Again, there is a reassurance that fear is useless, what we need is faith. This sense is coupled with a call to live frugally, to give our material riches away for the betterment of others, to uplift others.

I already have so much. I am trying to live as lean a life as possible and prioritize what truly matters most - actively loving the people in my life.

God's Grace

"My only desire and my one choice should be this: I want and I choose what better leads to God's deepening life for me." (Principle and Foundation)

God's grace (unearned gifts) is always present and available for me to take. I just need to take it through love. When I love others, I access God's grace and I allow it to fill me and guide me. The love of God is real and powerful and guides my daily life, it guides the tone and content of my every conversation. I am blessed when I am mindful of what I say and how I say it, of what I do and how I do it. If everything I say and do is guided by real love and an awareness of glorifying God, then I know I am truly living and I am truly alive in the fullest sense.

I shall listen to you

"When you call to me and come and pray to me I shall listen to you." Je 29:11-12

"I remember that God continues making me and has hopes for me and desires that I keep growing in love until I love as completely as God loves." Loved by God

"God who loves us creates us" Principle and Foundation

These passages resonate with me today. The notion that God listens to me is of great comfort in that I know that my prayers are heard and that I am guided to those prayers by the same God who hears them. If I listen carefully, I can discern the kind of prayer that makes sense for me. This gives new meaning to the words and thoughts I pray, because I am reminded that God is truly listening and that I need to choose my prayers carefully, and always be of right mind (or at least aspire to be.)

The second quote reminds em that I can never love too much, that I can always grow in my love of self and others. I think about Paul's letter to the Corinthians in defining what love is, and I am reminded of how incredibly challenging it can be to love myself and others. The first descriptor Paul offers is "patience." One thing this last week and a half has taught me how to do is to slow down. I tend to want to speed up and go go go. The fact is that I am developing a new appreciation for the expression "Go slow to go fast." When I sit with the same prayers or bits of scriptures and seek the deeper meaning, I am truly reaching levels of valuable insight. Depth over breadth is at work. I understand the power of this truth.

The third quote is extremely powerful because it speaks to the ongoing nature of my creation. I am in the process of creation. I am being created every day. I am reborn and renewed on a daily basis, and that process is ongoing. I have the power of newness and possibility within me. This gives me tremendous personal power, to know that God is creating me every day. I can change, I can learn new things, I can grow, I can do anything. I am blessed in knowing this - it is incredibly edifying. I can stand up and say, "I count! I matter! I'm relevant - always! I'm here!"

Jeremiah 29:11-14

God's plans for me are peace, welcoming, a return to the fold. I know that I must act in accordance with these plans. I know that God's plans are clear and laid out plain for me. I have to come to those plans, come to the love, return to the fold. Wherever I have exiled myself, to places of fear, anxiety, impatience, intolerance, anger, self-loathing - these are the real exiles of the spirit where I allow myself to reside - and they are manifest in my relationship to self and others. When I remember God's plans for me - peace, hope, love - then I can do away with these places of exile and be fully human and more in God's image as I was created. This is how God intended me to be.

Hope

"Hope only makes sense when it doesn't make sense to hope." Upland Hill Connections Winter 2010

"In hope we already have salvation; in hope, not visibly present, or we should not be hoping-nobody goes on hoping for something which he can already see." Romans 8:24-25

The universality of hope is a powerful reality that drives sour daily reason for being. I get up every day with hope in my heart. A spiritual restlessness, yes, coupled with strong hope and a belief that we are moving, as the Baha'i believe, to an ever evolving planet towards the divine.

"If God is for us, who can be against us?" R8:31

The ability to feel the power of the spirit without moral certitude or judgment is the balance i seek every day. I know the spirit lives in me, radiates through me and fills em up every day. I seek to spread this light, this spirit, this gift to all those I encounter and to uplift all people. This is God's mandate for me. I must fulfill my destiny as a Christian to realize my gifts and put them to use., They do not come from me , they do not belong to me . I am merely an agent. I have been bequeathed gifts and talents that have been in my family for generations., I am merely a conduit, a vessel, an agent of God's will. Everything I do is for the greater honor and glory of God because I come from God. I am of God and all I am and all I do is dedicated to advancing love. Faith, hope, and love. The more, the better.

Reflection on Psalm 23

Yahweh I know you are near
Standing always at my side
You guard me from the fall
And you lead me in ways everlasting

Where shall I run from your love?
For you know where I sit and where I stand.
Protecting me from death
Keeping me from harm

God as protector is a powerful image that reminds me of how to live. The key for me is the absence of fear. I have been beholden to fear for a considerable part of my life. As someone who live with bipolar disorder, half of the disorder is anxiety, which is, fundamentally, fear. Only through reflection in the spirit have I learned to dispel fear from my life, to turn fear into faith.

"Fear is useless, what you need is faith."

http://www.catholic.org/national/national_story.php?id=33432

When I flip my fear into faith I am more content and more calm. I can faith any hardship, any issue with peace. I can live, truly live as God intended me to live. What a blessing that is, indeed!

Reflection on Psalm 139

Yahweh I know you are near
Standing always at my side
You guard me from the fall
And you lead me in ways everlasting.

There is great comfort in knowing that God is near. Each moment of each day I feel the presence of God and know that there is no obstacle too great that comes up in daily life that God and I together cannot handle.

In fact, the notion that everything that happens in my life, whether pleasurable or painful, disconcerting or harmoniuos, is a gift, brings me great comfort. Beyond comfort, however, is the realization that this is the essence of the "attitude of gratitude" that is, to simply discern those things that are beyond my control (serenity prayer), accept them, give thanks for them, know that "everything is part of God's plan" and to move through my day with the Holy Spirit radiating through my heart. This, for me, is one of the keys to human happiness and true peace, to accept. I understand more and more the meaning of the word "submit," and it makes sense why "Islam" means "to submit," although I need to study the connection more.

"Where shall I go to escape your presence?" (Ps 139) God is everywhere and God never leaves you/me/us. I have lived long enough to know this is true. Of course that doesn't mean life is easy. God is here, there and everywhere. I feel God most when I am thanking God for what I experience and have. I feel God least when I am selfish and cursing whomever or whatever because things aren't going my way. This, to me, is a personal incaration of evil - selfishness.

Selflessness, or others-thinking, is love, and that is what I strive to attain more and more. When I tend toward judgement and lean toward comparisons and "I can do this and you can't" or "I have this and you don't" or "At least I am/have/do... and you/he/she isn't/doesn't have" etc then I am caving into the temptation of anxiety which has consumed me for far too much of my life.

I am ready to live more fully the words of Psalm 139:

God, examine me and know my heart,
test me and know my concerns.
Make sure I am not on my way to ruin,
and guide me on the road to eternity.

Reflection 2.2.10

2/2/10 Reflection

God, Israel’s protector and liberator: Isaiah 43:1-7

God is all powerful and reminds me that I am an instrument of God. I can remind people of God’s love each day through my actions, words, and deeds. No worry, trouble, fear, or anxiety is too great for the power of God. If I deliver myself to the lap of God, the hand of God, I will be free, and I can help others to be free if I remember this. I know that I have been given the gift of discernment because God loves me . I know that I am accepted, embraced, cherished, and uplifted to serve God’s creation, for the greater honor and glory of God, which is, practically, speaking to love all people.

I wonder about inclusiveness, of ALL people the world over. My understanding is that God loves all people regardless of their religious affiliation, regardless of their faith background or level of faith. I am not elevated or better than anyone because of my levbel of devoutness, in fact, I am no better than anyone for any reason. I am. I simply am, and in order for me to be the most happy, I need to love. To love fiercely and unconditionally, to love with passion and power to love until I can’t love anymore and then continue to love again. That is to be happy and not is to love in God’s image, in the best way a mortal human can.

I wonder about who to pray to, father, son or holy spirit, and when. Same God, three parts like me the father, son, brother, spouse, teacher etc., Same me, different incarnations, different roles. I guess it really doesn’t matter – the prayers will be heard. There’s no wrong way to pray. The intention is what matters. Peace.